Mary is sixteen and sexually active. She began dealing with a young man who happens to be two years older. Mary discovers she is pregnant. She tells her partner who respond “So what are ‘YOU’ going to do about it?” After discussing the issue with her family and closest friends Mary decide she isn’t at a stage in her life where she can provide for a child, so she has an abortion.
Deborah is twenty-five years old, working at McDonald’s where she meets Kenny an twenty-one year old basketball star at the local community college. Deborah gets pregnant, despite Kenny using condoms each time they are intimate. Deborah tells Kenny she’s pregnant, Kenny immediately brings her the money for an abortion. Stating that he has a real shot at the NBA, and he really don’t want to blow it. Deborah refuses to have an abortion, so Kenny eventually drops out of college to take care of his little girl.
Terrance has been in love with Monica since the third grade. They married right after high school, and was now attending the same college. Terrance was thrilled when he saw the early pregnancy test in the trash bin in their bathroom one morning.
He came home that evening with baby rattles, and other toys. Monica told his she was pregnant, but wanted to focus on her career so she had an abortion last week, and was trying to find the right way to tell him.
Now these three stories may seems at first like a pretty good beginning to a fictional novel, but the reality is these are real life “HORROR” story that plays out daily in America. But there are far worst stories than these. There are stories of innocent men going to jail for months at a time, losing their employment, and residence all based on the words (yes just the words) of another person.
There are stories of men who have not seen their children for years, not because they don’t care – but because the system allows the mother to use the child as a tool of torture to hang over their head. You can only see ‘YOUR’ child when I say so, you have ‘NO SAY’ in how the child is raised, or who the mother’s has around your child, but if you don’t make your payments then ‘TO JAIL’ you go. And here’s the kicker! Failure to pay Child Support is NOT A CRIMINAL OFFENSE, it’s CIVIL.
So that means one can sit in jail for child support for months without any legal representation (no court appointed lawyers in civil matters), as drug dealers, car thieves, and other felons walk in and out. Someone arrested for Child Support does not have the ‘rights’ to a speedy hearing – you sit in jail until the prosecutor feels like taking your case before the judge.
So let’s take a serious look at these two laws:
By Law –
A woman has the right to end a pregnancy (whether you feel it’s right or wrong she still has that right). Which regardless of what spin you put on it – gives her the right to say “I don’t want to be the parent of this child so I’m getting rid of it.”
A custodian parent (around 85-90% are woman) has the right to expect support from the non-custodian parent (and since we’re being honest here . . . let’s call it what it is). [FINANCIAL SUPPORT – because NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN PUT IN JAIL FOR NOT SPENDING TIME WITH THEIR CHILDREN]
By Law (read this carefully)
A woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy without consent and/or notification of the man involved with the pregnancy. Not prior to the termination, during the termination, nor ANY TIME AFTER the termination.
In layman terms, a woman can abort a man’s child and he NEVER knows he could have been a father.
Didn’t I read somewhere about the Constitution stating we are all to be seemed as “EQUALS”, and not judged by color, creed, age, or SEX! This has to be the most unfair law since SEGREGATION!
Since a man can not carry a child for ‘nine months’ he should have no say in whether or not his seed is aborted? That’s the equivalent of me saying you can not eat in my store because you are black. I know plenty of men who love their children, and dislike their ‘baby-mama’, and some have said “If I could have had them myself I would.”
Now let’s look at the effect of this law. Child Support in most states has nothing to do with support for the child, like I said earlier it’s financial. Child Support for the most part is not based on the income of both parents, only the income of the non-custodian (male 85-90%) parent. If you get a judge who’s actually take into account the non-custodian’s personal living expensive then you should been to your knees and thing the one you pray too.
Because most support amount is based on a pre-set percentage per child, regardless of the non-parental situation.
You make $500 a week, you’ve re-married and now supports your wife and her two steps kids. The judge declares you can afford to pay $150.00 per week in Child Support (that’s off the Gross). So after taxes your $500.00 check has been reduced to $300-$275 a week. What if you are the main bread winner – this won’t get you far.
And the custodian parent (in most cases), there’s never a sign of the money, not to mention the new man in her life – living in her home, also waiting on ‘YOUR’ check to arrive.
So what options are there for this non-custodian parent (male 85-90%)? He busts his behind and gets a better paying job so he can pay the support and take care of his new family. Problem there is Child Support is PERCENTAGE BASED! So he gets a new job paying him $800 a week, now he’s having to pay around $250 a week in Child Support. And there is NO CAP to this. The more money the non-custodian parent (male 85-90%) makes the more due in Child Support. It’s like for every $100 increase in your income, a new item becomes needed that you must pay. There are people who are honestly being given $10,000.00 – $20,000.00 a month in child support for one child. My mother raised eight (yes Eight!) of us, and I think the most she made during our teen years was $26,000.00 for the entire year.
But I’m not going to be one of those who just stands on a soapbox and just scream at the problem . . . I actually have a few solutions.
a) DNA TEST
First of all, drop the because she said he’s the father, and has his social security number CRAP! When someone comes in to file a child support case – or is forced due to Welfare Benefits the accused parents should be notified to come in for a ‘court ordered DNA-test’ (which can only be use for the sole purpose of paternity – Watch a lot of LAW & ORDER, had to throw that in for all the real McCoy’s out there).
Now if the test proves that the accused man is in deed the father the price for the DNA test should come out of his pocket. BUT if the test proves that he is not the father, then the mother (NOT THE STATE) the mother should have to foot the bill.
[There are far too many men who have been victimized by this law, only to find out later that the child was not theirs in the first place]
b) SET SUPPORT AMOUNT
I’m sure we have enough brains running around America that can determine a round about cost for raising a child, based on that child’s age and location.
An example would be:
child 0 – 5 yrs old
daily expense: $250 x 365 = $91,250.00 per year
Let’s through in another $750 for medical to make it an even $92,000.00
c) BOTH PARENTS FOOT THE BILL
Okay, we’re saying it cost us $92,000.00 a year to raise a child between newborn and 5 years of age. Here’s where my system gets fair.
The $92 thousands should be SPLIT RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.
Mother that’s $46,000.00 to you and Papa that’s $46,000.00 to you!
d) WELFARE ELIGIBILITY
Now that you have a set amount owed by a parent, we can kill the just walk up and sign up for government help (key word being help – not Support).
Only the parent who could not cover our fantasy challenging of $46,000.00 per year and still have a reasonable amount for their personal situation would be eligible for government assistance.
So there would be no more – look I got a baby so send me a check and a card to get some food. Welfare would be based on your income, and the amount of support owed for that stage of the child’s life (0-5, 6-11, 12-18). And the government would monitor visitation to make sure the non-custodian parent’s rights are protected.
e) THE ABORTION ISSUE
There it is my plan to make America fair to all. Of course this doesn’t make the two conflicting laws better? So what can we do about that?
Here’s my ideas (I’m sure you going to hate these)
Prior to an abortion the father has to give a sworn affidavit declaring his agreement with the abortion. If the father refuses and the mother wants the abortions then she must carry full term, with the understanding that from the moment of birth that the father has sole custody of that child. The mother will not be obligated to the child in any form or fashion, this also includes the upbring of the child. This rule would also work if the roles were reverse. If the father declared he wanted the abortion, and the mother didn’t then the father wouldn’t have any obligation to the child.
2)(You already know what this is going to be)
The only other solution I can think of is to declare one of the laws unconstitutional and strike it from the books.
Either Abortions are no longer legal, or Child Support – it’s just impossible to have one law that said you don’t have to be a parent/but we’re going to make you be a parent (without giving the non-custodian parent any rights)!
Well there you have it, I look forward to your feedback and thanks for taking the time out to lend me your ear (promise not to talk it off next time).