To My Creditor
I realize that the only reason you are calling me eleven times a day is because you are attempting to collect a debt. I regret having fallen behind and causing you so much anxiety that you need to keep such constant tabs on me to make sure I have not forgotten you. Rest assured. I have not forgotten you.
I will do my best to remain civil when you refuse to understand that I did not have the funds to meet your demands an hour ago and I do not have the funds now, nor am I likely to have acquired the funds by the time you call me in forty minutes.
Perhaps your intention is to intimidate me. It’s not working. I still can’t lay a golden egg so I can pay you.
Perhaps your intention is to belittle me. It’s not working. I’m not the one paying ten people five times more than I am owed to make phone calls on my behalf.
I failed to meet my obligations when my payment fell behind. I highly regret that. Sadly enough, I might not be so far behind if you had not jacked the interest rate up to three times what it was originally because I was five days late in making a payment, and that payment that was late was not even my payment to you. That is not your problem. It’s mine. I might not be so far behind if you were not adding late fees on top of the tripled interest. That’s not your problem. It is mine. I certainly might not be so far behind if the interest and late fees had not caused me to go over my credit limit forcing you to add penalties to the triple interest and late fees.
Oh my! How silly of me! That’s how you are affording to pay all those people for making all those phone calls!
I humbly wish to bring to your attention the fact that although I owe you money, I am still equally as human as you are. My debt does not make me a lesser person. It just means I have to deal with ….people like you.
Please be advised that when the phone rings and I answer it to speak with you, I will be as honest and as helpful as I can, BUT when I answer the phone only to be put on hold immediately, I will not hold. I will hang up. I do NOT refuse to speak to you but my time is just as valuable to me as yours is to you and I will not allow your intimidation attempts to rob me of my time.
I will continue to pay you what I can afford to pay you, even though it’s never enough to cover the interest, late fees, and penalties and I go a little deeper into debt with every payment. I will continue to speak as civilly as I can manage when you call me. I REFUSE, however, to be placed on hold as soon as I pick up the phone.
Hey! I think I understand what they mean when they tell me ‘The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer’.
Have a nice day. I’ll be here when you call me, forty minutes from now.