When Forcing a Father to Pay Child Support is Unethical

Yes, there are absolutely times when a father paying support is unethical! A father who is denied visitation by the mother, although he desperately wants to see his kids, thats flagrantly unethical! A father who has absolutely no say so in his kids upbringing, yet pays for it, and yearns to have some kind of connection with what goes on in their young lives…that is grossly unfair and unethical!

I was awarded so much support that I voluntarily lowered it by half and I still get a very generous amount! My ex and I would like to get out of the system entirely, but, the government is loathe to relinquish any authority over someone else’s money, and it is a bureaucratic paper work nightmare extracting from this system!

I have seen my ex fiance spend thousands of dollars in the bottomless money pit of attorney fees to see his kids. His ex constantly disregards the court ordered visitation and he has to pay to get in front of a judge, where it is NEVER a contempt hearing, but, rather a ‘visitation modification’ hearing. They never punish her, she complies for a month or two, then its back to the same thing, every time. A mother with physical primary custody (even in ‘shared custody’) has so much power and leverage, it is almost putting the father at her mercy! A magistrate told me that he has never heard of a judge putting a mother in jail for contempt of a visitation order…but lots of fathers get arrested for keeping the kids longer than the court order states! A court administrator told my ex boyfriend that “attorneys enforce court orders, not judges”. Am I nuts or isn’t a court order an ORDER OF THE COURT AND SIGNED BY A JUDGE?

Yes, there are instances where support obligations are grossly unfair and unethical. A few bad apples (dead beat dads, so called) have ruined the proverbial bunch. Mothers with primary custody are taken at their word and men who pay huge support are also slammed for day care and medical expenses which are never researched. Her word is accepted as proof, alone!

It is my belief, through experience, that the states and municipalities have found a cash cow in the support program. They feign concern for kids, and target the dads whom are the traditional breadwinners and purveyors of support. It’s easy to garner public support under the guise of ‘its for the kids’. BALONEY! A closer truth would be, “its to line the pockets of attorneys and bureaucrats”. The system is flawed and yes, highly unethical!